Le lezione importante per la famglia

this weekend west & i LeArnEd the meaning of "mAndAtOry" (or dEmAndAtOry") . . . . .

this weekend, the family had actually planned to go to the "armpit of the world" buhl, idaho to visit my parents & attend the open house of the newly built twin falls temple. we were all actually excited to go, something i haven't always been able to admit to in the past.

as things do, they quickly degraded from bAd to iMpoSsibLe in a matter of hours! levi had football practice from 6pm - 8pm friday night (something that could be taken as opTioNaL), a "mothers' meeting" at 8pm (again, opTiOnaL, to discuss volunteering for the various waterballon, half-time poster & after game snack committees) & 9:15pm mAndAtoRy weigh-ins for his upcoming first game on the 30th. (mAndAtoRy, for those of ya'all that don't know what that means, is the equivelant of still practicing but nOt playing in any of the games . . . & after making the small investment in mAndAtoRy fees ($210) to play football, we decided levi should attend his mAnDaTory weigh-in on friday night & fore-go the trip to idaho.) west & i mistakenly thought we would have time to squeeze a "friday night date night" dinner in while k8e was at work, levi was at practice & adam was at his scrimmage. the minute we sat down to eat (7:10pm) levi called on a borrowed cell phone inquiring where i was & requesting his shorts (which he fOrgOt to take with him to practice even though i reminded him a bizzillion times during the day) he needed for his weigh-ins. miraclously, levi's practice ended early, his weigh-ins occurred earlier & the mothers' meeting was, of course, still held at 8:15pm. . . . . while i was busy making sure levi had his shirt & shorts for his mAndAtoRy weigh-ins & was faithfully waiting for the rEquiReD "mothers' meeting" (which turned out to be a bunch of, well, nonsense) west & abbie (who had planned to have a slumber party with a friend - abbie had the plans, not west-, but had to cancel since we weren't at home), finished eating the food we (west & i & abbie) had ordered for the "friday night date night" dinner west& i had planned, and then went & picked up k8e, who i had dropped off 3 hours earlier at sugarhouse park (45 minutes from our house) from her "event" she had worked at that evening. after the senseless "mothers' meeting", levi & i swung by riverton high school football field to pick adam up from his mAndAtOry scrimmage for the varsity & jv teams & decided to participate (consume the hamburgers & hotdogs & fruit salads & chips & cookies) in the family bbq that had been scheduled as an incentive after the scrimmage (liek feeding us will be the SoLe determining factor in whether we attended or not . . . ok, so they were right) . . . meanwhile, tessa, who obediently "rto-ed" work off from the theatre to be able to go to idaho for the weekend, decided to pick up an extra shift & make some extra buckos when she figured out that the trip to idaho wasn't happening & each individual family member had individual "mAndAtoRy" & "rEquiReD" plans. she was key in dropping adam off at 5pm for his scrimmage before she went to work from 5pm- 12midnight, while west was driving home from work to help levi get "nebulized" (his asthma has gotten to the point where he is now taking meds to manage it) to his 6pm practice & i dropped k8e off at sugarhouse park at 4:45pm for her work. . . cOmMuTiNg is nOt fUn & is VeRy eXpEnsiVe bOys & GirLs!!!! . . . . . well, west & abs & k8e made it home about 9:30pm while levi & adam & i made it home about 9:45pm. "friday night date night" was nOt . . . . :( then there was saturday . . . .

levi had a "rEqUirEd" practice in bluffdale (30-40 mins south of our home) from 8am -9am with a "mAndAtOry" scrimmage from 9am-11am. "mAnDatOry" in this case means, show-up & play or LoSe your starting position (levi is starting at defensive tackle). . . . adam was told he had a "mAndAtOry" film meeting saturday morning at the high school at 9am: "mAndAtOry" in this case means aTtEnD or be kiCkEd oFF the team . . . mama has a "mAnDaToRy" gym class every saturday from 8am-9am. "mAndAtoRy" in this case means let mama go to the gym to exercise or someone gets eaten! . . . saturday was trying to be true to the theme of the weekend (aka: west & tasha get screwed out of any time together), but west & tasha had other plans . . . . mama didn't make her gym class but was successful at talking (ok, maybe a little bit of bribing) levi out of participating in his "scrimmage" & tess was sweet enough to step up & drive adam to the high school . . . west & i decided to make a few "mAndAtOry" & "dEmAnDaTory" plans of our own: we told the kids that we had a "mAndAtOry" bike (motorcycles) ride scheduled immediately & every family member needed to "sacrafice". at this point, k8e offered to babysit & adam volunteered to entertain levi while we left. (who says demands don't work!?)

other things west & i learned this weekend:

1) manufacturing 2 stroke motorcycles is now illegal in utah

2) don't ride your motorcycle sideways in the shallow river, you might fall over

3) the way you hold a cookie in your hand makes your hand look either bigger or smaller

4) having a family is aLoT of work but rEaLLy gOoD when eVeRyoNe steps-up & helps:)

che buffo!

my life has felt aLoT liek the photo this week . . . ok, the last several weeks . . . . but i am happy to report that the polar bear has nOt eaten any of us!

levi & adam have had football . . . morning, noon & night . . . LiteRaLLy! adam has had practices from 7:30am - 1pm & levi's practices have been from 6pm - 8pm both mOndAy tHruOugH fRidAy!!! adam has a "required scrimmage" tomorrow & levi's first "game" is on the 30th afterwhich practices will be after school for a "few hours" for adam 4 days of the week w/ 1 game/ week & levi's practices will be 3 evenings/week w 1 game eVeRy saturday:( why is organized violence sSsSsOoOoOoOo eNteRtAiNing?! levi took a helmet to his left elbow last night in practice & his asthma is giving him problems . . . . but there IS a solution: drugs in the form on an inhaler:) (praise alla!)

my hOrRibLe business commercial law class ended & i was rEaLLy happy to see my grade posted on-line as an 'A-' . . . uNtiL i got my final paper back & saw the mEaNy professor had rEaLLy given me an 'A' but posted the wRoNg gRaDe on-line:( i'm in the process of making him change it . . . he isn't returning my emails, but he can't ignore me forever . . . . i kNoW where his office IS & i kNoW which department he teaches in!!!!

the family had planned to attended the open house of the new Twin Falls Temple, about 30 miles east of where my parents live in the "armpit of the world town" called bUhL, iDaHo . . . but fOoTbaLL & gReEd got in the way:( levi has practice, yes, friday night from 6pm - 8pm with a "mother's meeting" at 8:15pm & "official weigh-ins" that if you miss you can't play in the first game of the season on august 30th at 9:15pm on friday night! (who schedules this stuff anyway! a bunch of wEirDo uTahNs) adam has his "must be there or can't play in the first unofficial game next friday" scrimmage on friday night . . . so k8e decided to cash in on the situation & make a few buckaroos of her own by requesting to work friday evening/night & saturday day . . . eyee, yiee, yiaaaa . . . and tess was the oNLy one who made sure she got both friday & saturday off to go . . . . . mama mia! . . . . . and we made sure the air conditioning in the van was fixed for the trip, too! (which i rEaLLy appReciAtE, especially when i'm driving home from work at 6pm at night:)

our family goal: do oNe bRaVe thing & . . . well, you kNoW the rest;)

La festa come RoCksTar;)

buddy veg weekend is quickly coming to a close . . . i am happy to report that there were no survivors;) sprinklers were ignored, weeds were left to grow wild & the house was forced to fend for itself!

west & i learned that just because a restaurant is cRaZy bUsy & cOmpLeteLy pAcKed doesn't mean that one mUsT wait for service. . . . .being a superhero has its advantages;) Cafe' Rio, Friday night, wall to wall hUnGry utahns with chemically altered hair, and only 45 minutes to order, eat, drive to the theatre (10 minutes away) & make it to our movie pick for our Friday night DaTe! we had previously picked up the movie tickets because twice before, our attempts to view this movie had been tHwArTeD! time was of the essence, a natural resource we couldn't waste & weren't allowed to purchase more of . . . some evil fiend was aGaiN trying to throw a monkey wrench in our fRiDayNigHt dAtepLaNs:( (dunt, dunt, dun. . . the plot thickens & the suspensful music esculates) . . .(what EVER will they do? calgon, take them away!) liek a tRuE superhero, west quickly and bRiLLantLy assessed the situation devising a pErfEcT fuLLpRoOf pLaN for us to jump ahead of the 50+ fake blondes & jock wanna-bes preventing us from reaching our goal: the front of the line! we walked outside, communicator & dialing device in hand, made our wants and wishes kNoWn & had our order in hand in 10 minutes! . . . . evil villans will have to quit using sSsSoOoOoOo much dye in their hair in order to keep up with us mentally . . . . . . oh, & the movie was pretty gOoD tOo!

saturday was discouraging . . . trying to purchase a pair of magic boots of escaping in preparation for our buddy veg rOaDtRip in 2 weeks. i've noticed i pick up a few bruises on my legs & feet every time we ride (call me the 'human banana': my superpowers are inflicting bruises on myself. . . i missed the course on inflicting bruises on others) we learned some sports are bLanTanLy discriminatory towards specific genders (wOmEn) . . . clinging to the archaic belief that men & women can wear the sAmE bOoT that was specially designed for a mans' phat foot (an idea that came from a mans' fat head!) west, once again showing his tRuE superhero character, bought me a pair of pink goggles. . . (my HeRo, heavy sigh:)

saturday night: west & i have a friend, Andy, that lieks to share drinks with us. it all started one new year's eve when he & a bunch of married couples started making new years' resolutions to aLwAyS "share a drink with Andy". he was the only single guy there as i recall & everyone wanted to make him feel, well, welcomed & not single! well, Andy found Jalizebeth & their wedding reception was at the top of Noah's (i am nOt making up the name of this reception hall. . . ask west) the flood rains started (i'm nOt making that up either!) but the air conditioning in the van was fixed! we traveled through the pounding rain and relentless wind & once we arrived, we climbed the hidden cement staircase as the flood waters rose. once "on deck", (the top had a partially opened ceiling) we congratulated Andy & Jalizebeth and found many families huddling around tables two by two (ha, ha) wild children were running free & the ice cream was melting in all the rain . . . west & i decided we needed rEaL superhero food (brain food: protein) & left for RuBy RiVeR . . .

all the hitchin' peanut posts were takin' & the peanut shells were left on the floor! (as if a bucket full of peanuts every customer shoves their hands into for a 'bite' was appetizin' to me!) if i didn't kNoW that Ruby River had the bEsT cinnamon yams & steak in Utah, i would have left from the filthy conditions they presented in their waiting area. after rustlin' up some grub & vittles that hadn't been handled by every customer in the place, we stopped by the washburns' homestead for a night cap. actually, they called & invited us over. . . we discussed the ways we could further save the town & the world from its own growing ignorance & the greed of corporate America outsourced to foreign lands. we learned that 'profit taking' is when gas stations first price their gas LoWeR than the national average & then raise their prices hiHgEr than the national average in order to "break even" (we didn't buy it either!) . . brooks decided flipping the 'birdie' at the flying J was a gOoD start at reclaiming americans' intelligence;)

sunday: meetings were LoNg & boring & attendance was down. kids were forced back into town about 4:30pm ( i think their step-mom had hAd eNougH despite her claims to the opposite . . . yes, there IS a sToRy there, but not for this bLoGg!) they were hungrier than a teradactyal after a fast. . . . Levi got stung when he & Adam ventured out to the abandoned swingset. i don't think they'll be going out there again any time soon.tess had to work.

being a superhero is tOugH . . i mean t-O-p-H!

La casa noi

for years now, the neighborhood has had "the unspoken but well understood" contest to see which house had the most gEtTo- rEdNeCk, iNtenSiOnaLLy nEgLecTed yard . . . and for years, we were cLoSe to winning this dReAdeD & uNcoVetEd TitLe, but were aLwAyS saved from the first place position by the two continually abandonded homes. . . one home has gone through 3 owners, the other 4, and one of the homes has been vAcAnT since west & i married almost 4 years ago. . . . we always felt pretty confident that we would nEveR be unanimously & quitely chosen as the gEtTo-rEdNeCk, iNtenSiOnaLLy nEgLecTed yard. . . and then the banks, or whomever is nOt making a profit on these two abandoned homes, thought they could intice some buyers to actually sTay in the house IF they put in sprinklers, sod, got rid of the weeds, put up nice fences, and LaNdsCapEd the yard! rEaLLy, the selfish thoughtlessness of these people . . . did they even rEaLizE what they were doing in terms of the tight competition for this gRoSsLy uNcoVetEd but nEceSsAry award within the neighborhood?! well . . . west & i bEcAme mOtiVatEd with a LaRge cApiTaL "M" . . . sprinklers are aLmoSt done, recovering the lawn from the morning glory and weeds . . . well, that will take a little longer. we'll keep ya'all posted;)